Making mistakes is ok!
I often encounter individuals who are terrified of making mistakes and do not trust their intuition. There is no cookie-cutter answer to solve this because this is a complex issue with influential external (social, structural etc) and internal (mindset) factors.
EXTERNAL:
We are programmed from birth to mostly trust external influences such as cultural conditioning and advertisement over our inner guidance.
We are programmed to believe we need to produce goods and buy them to be of value + work ourselves to death to afford them. Often, it’s luxury goods and experiences we definitively don’t need for life satisfaction.
Modern society is also not set up in a way which promotes experimentation and risk-taking. All of us have bills to pay and food to buy, which is expensive.
People who are prepared to take risks and make mistakes also often have more room to do so because of their privilege.
If we make a big enough mistake, we can lose our livelihood, friends, family, and loved ones. This is a possible outcome, and understandable why it is not desirable.
We are not encouraged to have many hobbies and career paths throughout life.
Re-training later in life is challenging, yet, not impossible. Ageism is real; at the same time, there is evidence of people starting companies and new projects throughout their lives. Colonel did not start KFC until he was 40, and Dr Gladys McGarey did not start writing her book until she was 100.
INTERNAL:
From a mindset point of view, it is often, not always, rooted in fear, potential loneliness, feelings of shame, guilt, low self-worth and inadequacy.
People who are afraid of making mistakes do not believe they have the confidence to cope with whatever the outcome will be. Sometimes, things go wrong, and all it means is that we have to try again. We need to build our inner confidence.
Making mistakes is a part of life. Often, although not always, when we look back, they were a blessing in disguise.
When we have put a lot of energy into something, it is hard to let it go and start again. Sometimes, there is no alternative, and we have to let go to begin again, and that’s ok.
We are humans, not machines, which means we are all flawed. We will never be “pure” and pure by who’s standards? Let all of this nonsense go.
How to embrace making mistakes
Practice healthy detachment. Nothing in life is certain. Everything is temporary, and everything comes to an end. And that’s just life.
It is about moving from “What do I want to have happen now?” because that’s clearly not working, and instead, as a much more open question, “What is life showing me now?”
You know when you are doing something a bit sketchy or rooted in an unhealthy ego. Don’t do it.
Forgive yourself and let go when you do
If people around you don’t allow you to make mistakes, consider whether you want to keep them in your life
How to trust your intuition
Meditate
Give yourself space to experiment
When you are going through an emotional upheaval, it is nearly impossible to connect with your intuition. Wait to make any decisions until you have reached an emotional balance once again.
Journaling prompt
What am I assuming which is stopping me from trusting myself?
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Stuff I noticed this week
I’m going to read this book: Waking the Tiger