Living your life, authentically
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I have been back in London for just a week after spending ten days with my family, and since then, I have been reflecting on the most critical lessons from this trip.
Before I share the primary ones, I am reminded of the famous quote by Ram Dass, which goes, “If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.”
Visiting my family always seems to be a spiritual test of the grace, compassion, kindness and care I have worked to develop. Sometimes, it works; other times, it does not. 😅
And that’s okay.
I do not need to feel guilty for wanting to live a life of spirituality, minimalism and calm. I don’t only observe this with my family, but I also see it with people around me in my daily life. They fill their lives with endless work to afford expensive activities and a costly lifestyle. And then they complain about being stressed and tired. I suspect the continuous work and consumption is a way to distract themselves from simply being because, at least, at first, that can be pretty uncomfortable.
I am grateful for the life that I have—following on the above. I see people with big houses, nice cars, and money to spend out on dinners; even so, they are not happy, as happiness is an inside job.
My dietary requirements are not asking too much. I’m still working through and managing having a healthy gut, which means I must follow a particular diet.
Not wanting children is acceptable. I’m sure I would be a good parent. However, I don’t want kids, and that’s okay.
Adults can make mistakes, and that’s okay. When we are kids, many of us think that grown-ups cannot make mistakes, and we quickly take it to heart. Many of us end up with energetic trauma wounds as a result. If we make a mistake as an adult, apologise, communicate and set a plan for action on how it will be better in the future. Talking is important, and action is pivotal.
Sometimes, people have not read the same books as you or learnt the same tools, and expecting them to behave in a certain way is wishful thinking.
You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. When we become adults, we are primarily responsible for looking after ourselves. Some people need more support than others, that’s not a problem. Then, we give them extra support. Still, in the end, adults must decide to make the change they want to see.
Perception management is impossible. People will judge your life, and that’s on them. You keep on living your life.
For the most part, other people’s unresolved trauma is not your concern. If they decide to be stuck in the past, that’s up to them. All you can do is keep on going on your healing journey and take actionable steps towards being at your best.
Everyone is on their particular spiritual journey, and all you can do is accept them for who they are, not who you want them to be.
I need to show an equal amount of grace to everyone. I don’t always do this, and that’s up to me to work on.
I don’t need to adhere to my family's values or the culture I grew up in. I can create my own.
The way I approach romantic relationships is up to me.
Family is … complicated. I decided at a very young age that I wanted to be different from where I come from. In many ways, I think acknowledging that I’m gay at a young age greatly impacted my ability to bring my authenticity to life.
In short, change begins with awareness, and from awareness, you can start to notice what works and what does not. Over time, you can begin to create tiny changes. Yes, this might mean you need to change who you spend the most time with and what you do. Sometimes, you might spend more time alone, but in the end, you will have more calm and ease if that is what you seek.
You might be someone who enjoys continuous excitement … if so, go for it. Who is anyone to judge?