Hey dudes
You will not been seen as weak if you are healing
Especially those of us who identify as men, we need to start permitting ourselves to slow down and tune into our mind, body, and spirit- to deeply connect to our values, their origins, and our place in the world.
We must become comfortable listening to our inner world to find a different path forward.
It's not very hard to find evidence that something somewhere has gone awry with our culture and society. We glorify a lifestyle of overindulgence, opulence, shouting, constant external validation and treating people unkindly.
I'm not suggesting that everything should become soft and gentle; I believe in balance. There is a place for assertiveness, and there is a place for gentleness.
For example, I'm for challenging ourselves with physical exercise, as well as slow stretching and vulnerability through talking and sharing.
They are not mutually exclusive.
All people have masculine and feminine traits; it's about finding the balance between them. It's about connecting with our innermost spiritual essence and channelling that into the world.
I say men at the beginning because, thus far, most of my clients are people who identify as women, and that's great; at the same time, I'd love to see more men entering healing spaces. You will not be seen as weak because you go to a breathwork class or share in a sharing circle.
In fact, it's the opposite: You are working on yourself to show up at your best at work, life, and love. Any friend, partner, or colleague will appreciate that, as you can bring out the best in each other.
For me, all of this comes back to a deep, profound connection with self. If you have that, you are not easily swayed by the whims of others. Your connection to self is built through reflection and reaffirmed through action.
IDENTIFYING YOUR CORE VALUES
Your values are your decision-making framework. When you become more aware of your values, you can make decisions that are in alignment with them.
1. Write down everything that matters to you and your behaviours. No editing. Let the stream of consciousness flow.
What matters to you and your behaviours will reveal your current values. Change what matters to you and change your behaviours; you will change your values.
2. Delete all the values that do not resonate from the values list below. You should be left with 4 - 8 values.
(source: Scott Jeffrey)
3. Define each value.
What exactly does this Value mean to you?
Why is it important to you?
How are your Values connected?
For example, here are some of mine:
Health - to feel rested, agile, and present in the long term, not the short time.
Spirituality - to always live in a sense of authenticity and connectedness to myself.
4. Use your values to articulate guiding principles.
A guiding principle is a mantra that will help you to stay true to your values and be an easy reminder. You build your own quote to embody your value truly.
For example, here are some of mine:
Spirituality: My key to understanding myself and others.
Courage: I trust myself to have the strength to go against the grain
Presence: Be here now
5. Living your values.
Identify the situations in which you have lived your Values.
What are one or two behaviours that support your values?
How did it serve you?
Identify past situations when you have compromised your Values.
What are one or two slippery behaviours that are outside your values?
How did that serve you?
What have you learned from this lesson?
Articulate present and future behaviours that will let you live your Values.
What is an example of you fully living into your values?
Design a daily routine containing blocks of time when you live your Values.
Let me know how you get on in the comments below!
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Tor- There’s so much insight here, especially the journey towards a gentler existence. Such an undervalued concept.