Healing is non-linear
So be kind, patient and compassionate towards yourself and others.
I’m noticing that some people on Instagram and other social media platforms criticise people in spiritual circles for being obsessed with their healing journey. To an extent, I can see where they are coming from. Too much navel-gazing is not good.
Conversely, the same people expect us to be adults who take responsibility and accountability for our lives without teaching us the tools to do so in the first place. Learning the tools and practices includes going on a healing and learning journey and spending some time doing navel-gazing.
Further, listening to stories from clients about people in their life and people I have in mine, many of them could benefit from spending time in thoughtful reflection, learning and healing.
I have seen it happen repeatedly when someone has put a concerted effort into their healing that their personality changes for the better, and they have an overall better quality of life. Otherwise, what is the point of therapy, different movement practices, healthier nutrition and spiritual work? It is all to heal our body, mind and spirit to live a more fulfilled life whilst here in the earthy realm.
One aspect to bring forward is that we will never be entirely “healed”. Healing is not a destination; it is a journey. In a similar vein to that, meditation is not a static state of mind but rather a dynamic practice.
So let go of any forms of perfectionism because it does not exist.
I used to have a terrible relationship with my diet and body, and over the last five years, it has radically improved, but it is an area I’m still working on. Just recently, I overate on some watermelon, which does not feel too good in my stomach.
I did not grow up with role models for healthy romantic relationships, so that is an area I have had to learn about as it is happening.
Healing is non-linear, which means that you may think you have “healed” something, but suddenly an experience triggers a response which you thought was firmly in the past. Apparently, not so much! All you can do is laugh, really, learn again and move forward.
Don’t get too hung up on it. Notice it as it happens, reflect, learn and try again.
What does healing mean?
Healing means: to become well again. For example, let us say that your boss consistently shouts at you, demeans you, puts you down and does not set you up for a good work-life balance.
This could lead you to have less self-worth, lowered self-confidence and suffer from high amounts of stress, which could easily lead to other health concerns.
In this case, healing would mean that you have better self-worth and higher levels of self-confidence and can stand up to your boss to create a less stressful environment or leave that company.
Another example could be that you consistently choose romantic partners who are emotionally unavailable. Something in you leads you to do that unconsciously or consciously. Most likely, the former.
Again, whatever that is, it needs healing so that you choose the type of partner you need in the future.
Giving healing the time it needs is vital as it will lead us to connect more deeply with our friends, family, community and ourselves.
More connection will give us a sense of why we are here.
How to start your healing journey
In the beginning, healing is simply about noticing and creating awareness of how you react to the world around you. Don't rush; take one step at the same. Over time, you will learn to consciously respond instead.
Journaling and meditation are excellent places to start if you cannot afford to work with a healer or a therapist. Some self-help books can be beneficial, and fiction as well. I learned a lot from reading fiction and reflecting on how the characters respond to certain situations and how I might do it differently or the same. There are also many very good podcasts and Instagram accounts to follow.
These books, podcasts and Instagram accounts have been beneficial to me:
Books
The Promise That Changes Everything
Podcasts
Instagram accounts
Areas to consider for healing
Many areas within our human existence can be considered for healing, and I would not suggest you take them all on at once.
Start with one or two areas at the time and see what shows up as you navigate your life. There might be some I have left out of the list below too.
Romantic relationships
Money
Career
Food
Exercise
Shopping
Feeling
Emotions
Social media
Bodies
Minds
Spirit
Parents
Friends
Social Norms and Expectations
As you can see, the list is long, and I’m sure I have left out something. As I said above, don’t rush; take one step at a time and don’t spend too much time navel-gazing.
To start, take out a piece of paper, and write down the area where you want to begin healing and growing. After that, create two columns. In the first one you write: where I am now and in the second: where I want to get.
If you want, you can ensure that the end goal is set up as a SMART goal and with systems in place to support that goal being full-filled.
PS: Remember to live your life and have some fun!