Choosing Better: Love, Intuition & the Power to Decide
We don’t know exactly what our life path will be—what is fated and what is simply the result of our choices creating cause and effect. I mention this because a client recently asked me, “How can I stop attracting bad guys?”
In my view, the question should be reframed as, “Why am I choosing the wrong guys, and what can I do to change that?”
Most of the time, when we make choices, no one is forcing us—yet we still make “the wrong” decision we believe, often for complex and sometimes unconscious reasons. Humans are complicated, especially when it comes to romantic love—our brains can go completely haywire.
I try to tread a fine line between believing that every relationship, for better or worse, is part of our spiritual growth in this lifetime, and also recognising that we have the power to choose differently. Moving forward, perhaps our path is to learn to choose better for ourselves.
That said, I never want to be someone who justifies harm or abuse as “part of your lesson.” When I see other spiritual teachers do that I find it very harmful and unhelpful. That awful twin-flame rhetoric really riles me up.
There’s no simple answer as to why people go through painful and traumatic experiences in relationships. What matters is that we support those who do in whatever way we can.
To advocate for goodness in the world. To never give up on hope. To always work towards making the world a better place for everyone.
My Recommendations
Familiarise yourself with your intuition—it will be speaking to you.
Get to know yourself.
Understand your values, needs and desires, and honour them.
Don’t ignore the red flags.
Have difficult conversations early on.
Don’t believe in the Disney version of love—it takes work.
Know your red lines and set healthy boundaries.
Articulate your non-negotiables and use them as your compass.
Work on your self-worth.
It’s okay that you are incompatible with certain people; you will be compatible with someone else. There are billions of people on this planet.
Don’t hide parts of yourself to be “liked”. That will only lead to resentment and disappointment later on.
The more confident you are, the less likely you’ll be to allow someone into your life who isn’t deserving of your time and energy.
Every time you choose to not allow someone into your life, you create space for someone else, hopefully even better.
My Latest YouTube Video
💛 I love sharing my thoughts, feelings and ideas with you, and I hope you find them useful. I would greatly appreciate your support with a paid subscription.
UPCOMING CLASSES:
BOOK A ONE-TO-ONE
OTHER PLACES YOU CAN FIND ME